June 21, 2004
Okay, call me a bit of a survivalist but I spend maybe too much time wondering what will hapen to me when the world inevitably becomes an anarchic hell-pit ŕ la Mad max, you know any day now, when the environment or a nuclear meltdown destroys us and all our wonderful infrastructure.
And I forget exactly how or why, but it came up during a phone converstaion with mike that perhaps squirrels, and the harvesting/ training/ development of .. could be my meal ticket when montreal gets it's rude awakening..
That's right everyone else'll be out scrambling, trying to beg buy borrow or steal food shelter clothing you name it, and I'll be hanging out with my squirrel elite squad, drinking some fresh and tasty squirrel milk, jetting about on my 500 squirrel-power skidoo.
Continued from main page..
There's gold in them thar parks, we just have to start a good selective breeding program, and develop the approriate technologies (...tiny little milkers, a squirrel harness, do you see where I am going with this people? miniaturization is the watchword of the day here..)
So then what happens, after that bit of pure stupidity? I wander across the hall to visit my neighbours Ned and Katie, and what do you think they are doing? Reading the joy of cooking aloud because you know what? It has a handful of recipes (a generous handful mind you) on how to prepare a squirrel for dinner..
For example; don't eat the grey squirrels they are gamey, and therefore only good for milking, a real good-eating squirrel is the red squirrel. I don't know about the black squirrel - maybe you smoke their tails.
In order to skin a squirrel you need to step on it's tail. (There was a diagram, I didn't scan it, I am going to spare us all the pain of seeing a squirrel, its tail mashed under some sick hicks LLbean footwear, being relieved of its epidermis)
The sad truth is that when the world is plunged into anarchy and despair I am going to be screwed because even that simple line drawing of squirrel butchery turned my stomach and I almost dropped my baguette with boursin cheese and paté on the floor in my haste to leave the room.
sigh, goodnight.
Posted by Miriam at June 21, 2004 01:29 AM
Posted to Ideas