April 1, 2005

So after a horrible horrible crabby day of crabby pants-edness. A day wherein my darling Ned offers me his tuchas (bum) to rub (long involved story about our days in undergrad degree here - too boring and typical to explain -suffice to say rubbing a bum is an affectionate gesture and alleviates feelings of sadness and misery) and I accidentally start to smack it and lose all consciousness of what I am doing. In other words after giving my best friend an unrequested spanking at work, whoops...

After that, I go to the grad lounge at B-school to drink my hot chocolate and try and get 'psyched' for this marketing project. So I walk in and there are like 5 guys in bass -weejuns and leather bomber jackets sitting on the various couches, as I head towards the phone they start talking about how it is possible in this day and age to get cellular ring tones based on the vocal emissions of ones favorite pornographic film star.

I myself am not familiar with mainstream actresses but I believe the name being tossed about was gina jenkins?

There are the requesite chuckles and guffaws but no-one hazards a guess as to what gina would be doing on the ring-tone. Whether she would be saying: "Phone's for you big guy" or just making whatever noises she makes as she's getting the money shot all over her face.

Sorry that was innapropriate, especially given how nice the last entry was. I am just so incredibly lamed-out by walking into a (at that moment, it's not always so boys-clubby) male dominated space and then hearing such BS.

"Hurk hurk yeah man , like a pornographic ring-tone awesome.. harkle snurk boh-pe punch it in."

Okay it wasn't that troglodyte sounding.

Anyways, then I get on the phone with a friend she says how are you? I say: great I was going to sit here in my grad lounge and relax with my hot chocolate but there's this discussion about pornographic ring-tones taking place here so I am going to go find someplace more relaxing to be in.

I don't know if anyone heard me but they all shut-up.

Then I felt all sorts of third generation angst about pornography not being wrong and enjoying porn being okay and why be so judgemental etc... and then I said forget it (actually I used a stronger word then that). If you are five adult males in a room that is considered public and one women walks in don't immediately start talking about something that may make that woman uncomfortable - it's called marking your territory and it's no fun.

...or maybe ask the woman; "Do you have a horrible case of involuntary crankyness that is making you act a little crazy? would it be better if we all just quietly read our wall street journals - can I get you some spearmint tea.....do you need a footrub?"

- ha. okay I am feeling better now.

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