August 10, 2005
wow.
I feel like I have just been dumped by my own intelligence.
I am sitting in the computer lab taking deep breathes and trying not to cry, and remembering physically the time time I ran out of my grade 5 class to hide in the girls washroom to get away from long division.
It took more courage and adrenalin than I have needed for ages, just to stay seated in the test room for a significant amount of time and try my best on all the questions.
And I failed anyways.
I feel like a big door just slammed in my face.
I wish I came from a culture where anything over 10 just became a whole lot. I wish I had been smart enough to drop that goddamn class before my GPA was affected.
Okay the only good thing I can get from this is that I should drop out of business school, get a trustworthy accountant and start thinking about how to make use of what I am good at, instead of trying to force my head to go in a direction it is clearly unwilling to go.
Does anyone wanna buy a calculator? going cheap.
Continued from main page..
Posted by Miriam at August 10, 2005 8:34 PM
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indelible stupidity
Aw, Miriam. Remember that arithmetic is *not* mathematics; you can be good at math while being bad at the *mechanics* of arithmetic (including using a calculator to make those mechanisms move).
It hurts so much to fail something. I understand that, I really do. It takes so much for me to remember that I am not a heap of achievements, I am me. Big hug. Try not to make any decisions just yet.
I just got this email from my erstwhile math professor
"Hello,
Sorry for this bad news. You got 21.5/66 in the final and 36.5/100 overall. This is an F."
He writes like comment spam, but no-ones giving him an F.
Thanks fo all the hugs btw. I like hugs more than I like statistics anyways.
Let's not waste time shilly-shallying over "I feel so dumb", "oh your're not dumb."
What the heck do I do? my GPA which should be in the high 3's is now in the high 2's, which is really a problem.
I really hope that there exists some academic get out of jail free card and for 200 clams I can trade it in to have the F wiped from my records.
But, there probably isn't.