December 30, 2005

{I actually wrote this on the train ride home from my vacation hence post-post}

No-one ever says;

"Attention is if there is web-designer aboard the train please come to car 01 immediately. Thank you for your assistance."

I am sitting on the train (wifi enabled) working on my submission for she is such a geek.

Which probably won't get in but I guess that's okay.

I am listening to simon and garfunkel, and wonderng what has happened in train 01, reflecting on the difference between being a doctor and being anything else. Why don't they ever say; "All incorrigable gossips with ADHD who hate long train rides and would prefer watching emergency CPR to sitting on their tuchas for another 4 hours with nothing to do, please come to car 01 imemdiately."

A friend of mine is going to get on this train at Belleville and I am semi- annoyed because I have a chocolate letter which is the first letter of both our names and I would like share it with her and I can't because it is assigned seating and I don't know which car she will be on.

Here is a collection of my favorite bon-mots from the holidays, spent mostly with family, except for one ill-fated evening spent with some old friends and about two too many shots of jagermeister. Which I will get back to later.

Try to guess who said what, if you have had any meetings with members of family flink.

"I don't like the jib of your nose."

"Stop sitting there and take your turn already."
"I am not sitting here, I am thinking. When my eyes are very still and fixed on the game-board it means I am thinking."
"What were you thinking about?"
"Whether I should get us another bowl of jalapeno corn-chips."

"You're not going to date Helmut are you?!"
"No. Helmut and I are just going to be friends."
"She told Helmut to put a lid on it."

"...I don't know why you aren't married yet. It's not that difficult, you meet someone when you are 18 or 19 and then bumpf you're married."
"Bubi I have bumpfed with 2 or 3 people in my life, and none of it has led to marriage."
"Mum, I only bumpfed with one person and now I am divorced."
"I don't know if we should talk about this over dinner."

"You know, you're smart, you're funny, and nice, you have a good job.. I don't understand why you haven't settled down..."
"Don't worry Bubi, I am going to marry at least twice so that more then one person has a chance to experience all my good qualities."

"How much was the digital camera?"
"It was about 400 dollars."
"That seems expensive."
"Mom do you even know what a digital camera is?"
"It's a camera that takes pictures by itself."

"Are you mad that I just beat you?"
"I'm not mad, I'm dissapointed."

"Look at this picture of Dads bloody eyeball, he looks like saruman."
"That's awesome!"
"Don't go and put that on the internet - that's not why I bought you a camera - to embarras your family with."

and now....

{The friend totally found me and we traded kolbassa for chocolate, and then went slightly mental when the train was an hour behind schedule}

She is presently standing in front of me complaining that her clothing smells like latkes..

I am back and I am (... a B word here bitchy, bad-ass, bored, blatantly ignoring the fact that my vacation ended 48 hours ago)... and I kinda wish I wasn't I guess that means I had a good vacation. Someone should tell surly teen-agers this: Right now you hate your family, and think they are totally crazy and annoying. Once you have grown up you will still sometimes find them crazy and annoying but for some inexplicable reason you will actually love them for it. If you are lucky though, only if you are lucky.

Continued from main page..