February 14, 2006

Dad: So did you hear 0% of baby-boomers are officially obese now.

Mir: Wow.. uh that's a lot.

Dad: It is, and it was only 19% three years ago.

mir: So we're going to be paying for your inevitable decline, is that it? You're not obese though right?

Dad: I most certainly am!

Mir: No you aren't. You just have the Family not-waist.

Dad; I better take you to see Dr.Entwhistle.

mir: Who's that?

Dad: Well, he's my doctor, tiny man, and he said; "Mr.Flink-dad I have some bad news for you - you are totally obese." and I said; "Watch what you say there little man!" -you know he's really puny and he was a little scared he said; "Oh no, no Mr.Flink-dad I wasn't trying to offend you.. It's just a medical fact."

Mir: So what, you're one of the 60% now?

Dad: Oh not me! I've always been obese, I was part of the original 19%.

Mir: What are you telling me this for?

Dad: You know even when I was 7 or 8 I was rotund. I started working around the farm when I was 12 or 13, but then when I joined the army the food was so bad I just filled right out.

Mir: you look pretty slim in those pictures with mom. Were you sucking in your gut?

Dad: Oh yes completely. You know I learned that when I was passing time with my friend, he was an ex-communicated priest you know, and one day we were standing around talking and some pretty girls walked by and when they got near us my friend went (makes sucking noise) and pulled up his stomach and I went and said; "You don't need to go and hide your belly for those girls!" quite loud. He was so embarrassed.

Mir: what was an ex-communicated priest doing trying to impress pretty girls anyways?

Dad: Well he wasn't a priest anymore.. and while he was a priest he had put on weight - they drink and eat a lot because you know..

mir: they're celibate

Dad: Yes, like friar tuck in robin hood.

mir: Gotcha.

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