February 28, 2006

I went for another driving lesson today.

I watched a video called "Turning left...right!"

I won't lie, it scared me. Especially the part where the narrator said: "It is important to remain focused on the task at hand and check for every possible outcome."

That's *so* not my style. In fact, I usually wear headphones with loud music blaring because in my life the task at hand which requires my concentration usually happens between my two eyes and behind my cranium.

The video was made in the late 80's so one of the characters had a car-phone, the kind with a cord. The risk being illustrated with Mr. Carphones story was the obvious; "Do not talk on your car phone while performing left turns". I wonder if the SAAQ had any idea that eventually pedestrians would also become oblivious to their surrroundings due to telephony. Does that change Mr. Carphones obligation? You know, if he's about to plow into Mr. Cellphone who crossed on a blinking green because he was paying more attention to his conversation then the traffic signals?

Also, is it entirely neccessary to treat me to a montage of accident victims as the video opens? I don't need to see a blood-stained engagement ring to know that driving is serious business, and that marriage is a trap from which there is no escape.

It would do me good to remember right now that my entire raison d'etre w/r/t getting this license is that I want to listen to road-music while driving on the desolate highways that separate the populated bits of Canada from each other. There's no other reason. Once I get my class 5 license I will not be taking anyone to Ikea (ahem, Jane..) and I am not going to drive in the city. So I should be able to keep any head-on collisions with fiancees to a minimum.

Anyways, Jen sent me this yesterday it's a metro map of montreal turned into anagram poetry and is super-awesome-beautiful-smart etc...

Let's all say a quiet word of thanks to public transportation, it's kept me off the road for 10 years, and if it weren't for bands like VHS or BETA it could have kept on doing its job and we'd all be a little safer.

Okay I just went and looked at the anagram map again, and it turns out that I live at "Penile Anarchist" station.

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BWAAH HA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

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