March 31, 2006

My delicious is a mess.

I just looked under the tag Grrlstuff and found an article on Fundamental issues in OpenSource development. What makes that grrlstuff? Why it was written by a girl..

Apprently I am the organizational equivalent of a 90 pound weakling.

So here's the trade. I will do one of the following;

a/ make you a nice nice dinner with all the trimings
b/ style your blog
c/ give you a haircut
d/ draw your picture
e/ Pay you some money if that's really your bag.

If you'll borrow my delli password and re-organize some of my tags.. not all just the most blatantly stupid ones and make some tag groups perhaps.

I will finish the job, I just need someone with a keen eye for logical categories to impose some outer structure to my inner turmoil...

Let me know please, I promise it will be painless, and if organization is something you enjoy, you will have a field day with the outer manifestation of flink-mind.

xoxox (in advance)

March 25, 2006

This morning I took the dog out and walked by the canal.

At the park it was a parade of babies, all walkers, who first stared at my dog and then chased her in clumbsy little steps. This is a real change from when Lola was a young dog and used toddlers as pylons in her own self-created obstacle course.

She makes a good old dog does Lola.

It's the first real day of spring here, and the grass was a dead brown pelt over thick mud. There were seagulls standing gingerly on the wet ice, which didn't crack so much as grow big dark holes that increased until only water shone by the locks.

I thought of this metaphor for life in which people are in the same position as those seagulls. Satisfaction with life being like fragile ice, and despair the cold brown water always hiding underneath. Unlike birds, we don't stand lightly and we don't have wings with which to get away. We land heavily on our contendedness, expecting it to bear all sorts of stresses and expectations. Than we are surprised when fissuresa appear, or a hole grows steadily in our peripheral vision, seemingly un-related to anything we've done to deserve it, but nevertheless totally deadly to our sense of well-being.

I want to learn to be like a bird on my own life. But it's hard not to stand heavily on the people and the hopes I care about the most.

March 23, 2006

I went to a Drupal meet-up today, and it was hella-fun. John, Jen and I went together and put on name-tags and got all enthused about 4.7. What a trip. It's like an Elks Lodge for geeks. Is it weird to say I am looking forward to the next meet-up? I am. Thanks to koumbit for organizing that.

I had to leave before the beer and pizza to meet with my accountant who collects birds. She has a love-bird who lost it's mate, it's been picking out it's own feathers for two years now, poor thing.

Small things make me appreciate how much I love being in this city. Having an accountant who is also an ornithologist, sitting at her table covered in bird-seed talking about how to build up my business expenses. I wonder if that is typical of Montreal, no-one is just one thing.

Later I walked home and saw the AA sign up outside the rectory. All the AA'ers were outside having a smoke break. This is something I love about St. Henri in particular. AA is supposed to be a discreet entity, you go in anonymous and come out anonymous, no one has to know who you are. Not so in my neighbourhood. Everyone knows it's an AA meeting due to the giant AA sandwich board up outside the doors every thursday night, and during breaks all the AA-ers stand on the porch making loud crowded smokey conversation.

Okay I just got some spam and the title is "Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache" forget this contextual title that's going up there right now.

Also on the way home I stopped to buy some toilet paper, and realized that it might be over-thinking things to get so incensed about tp that is NOT MADE FROM RECYCLED FIBRES. What the frig people, it is not a good startegy to kill trees to wipe your bum repeat after me, TREE=hundreds of years of growth HUMAN POO= at least once every 24 hours which is gonna run out first you do the math.

Okay I know Charmin just feels better, but if you make one sacrifice in your day to day life why not let it be yours sensitive little rosebud okay?

I know I am overreacting. I could stand by the side of the raod and cry fat tears over car-clogged arteries, but you gotta pick your battles and apparently, the family obsession with scatalogical issues and the environment has come home to roost.

Jen says I should start one of those one woman crusades that makes me look like a weirdo. Were I less concerned about looking like an utter spaz, I would. I would call it "Don't Cut Down Trees For Your Pees."

The logo would be a giant bum floating over an old growth forest.

This is a KA post.

March 20, 2006

So I was standing their with Aquafresh Empower-mint toothpaste foam dripping from my mouth when it occurred to me that Henry Miller was a total fuckin' jerk.

So there. So was Dorothy Parker. And Virginia Woolf was crackers.

Noto mention all those indy rockstars I adore who write beautiful songs about heartbreak and mortality and when you finally get to meet them after a show it turns out they are a freaked-out-on-acid lout with a guitar-pick for a heart.

Sure I need some reflection, probably some sturm and drang, love of the human stain that vacuums the blood from my heart and sprays it on each wrenchingly honest page. etc. etc.

But empathy, that's for Ms.Manners and my yoga/consciousness -raising group. Mostly for there, and a bit for my writing, I think. It's not like I need to go and do a full frontal emo-lobotomy on myself or anything.

{{I am learning to be kind to myself flink-style over here, bear with me.}}

Oh, in other news: A hostess twinkie costs $20 dollars in Peawanuck. That's a lot of money for a snack cake.