April 3, 2006

I don't even feel like writing really I just want everyone in the loop. Lola is going blind. She tried to chase a garbage bag up a tree today. Or do what amounts to a chase for her now, since her two back legs seem to have given up the ghost. Oh yeah, and she has a bladder infection which may indicate something called Cushings disease.

The last time we spoke to the vet he actually sat down to talk to us. I am taking that as a bad sign.

I went to the bank to figure out why they had frozen all my bank accounts (it had to do with getting all my money from clients outside Quebec..) At some point during the conversation with Giselle Mangemesculottes the manager who refused to unfreeze even the Ontario cheques so I could pay for the dogs multiple blood tests and also eat, I believe I started to cry and then said in godawful french: "En fait mon chien est malade, j'ai trop sure mon carte de credit pour payer le veterinaire, en plus je peut pas acheter les nouriture! Qu'est ce que vous vont faire pour moi?"

I think the tears disarmed them and the manager left and came back and handed me three hundred dollars in cash, as if they were giving me an allowance. I told them I wasn't used to begging for my own money and biked up to the TD bank where an incredibly friendly investment counsellor named Nektarios gave me a cappucinno and agreed that the least they could of done was offer me a kleenex.

I almost wanted to date Nektarios. He laughed at all my jokes, made me feel safe and secure and had very nice hands. He also finally explained the mystery of GIC/mutual funds/ stocks and also your basic mortgage amount in about 15 minutes. I realize that this is all a ploy to get me to invest with TD, but hey, as Stevie Nicks would sing: " Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies... " Oh yeah did I mention he got me coffee.. I am such an easy touch.

At some point in our conversation, I distinctly remember saying "You are talking about people who feel like they have power over their money. I think I belong in the opposite group." He laughed really hard at that.

update

In "Everything is Illuminated" the Ukrainian tour guide Alex writes :

Mother is a humble woman. Very very humble. She toils at a small cafe one hour distance from our home. She presents food and drink to customers there, and says to me," I mount the autobus for an hour to work all day doing things I hate. You want to know why? It is for you, Alexi-stop-spleening-me! One day you will do things for me that you hate. That it what it means to be a family."

I would like to amend that quote to include. One day you will receive email forwards with pictures of puppies or boring knock-knock jokes which you hate, but you will read them anyways, that is what it means to be a family.

If my dad or my aunt read this I am totally getting disowned.

November 3, 2005

Okay so this is from mk's horoscope website.. which is way longer than mine and goes into some serious detail..

On top of Neptune's actions (which will cause the confusion), Mercury will start to retrograde just at the time of the full moon. Keep in mind that Mercury is always operating in wildest, most troublesome form on the day it retrogrades, which this month will be November 14, and the day it goes direct. Give this day a plus or minus one day, and you have the full moon. As you see, it will be a poor time to have to come to a conclusion. See if you can resume talks in December and finalize things mid-month. Avoid getting too close to the day Mercury goes direct, December 3.

Okay woah, that's; a) some pretty unclear grammer and, b) what are they asking me to do? "Avoid getting to close to the day Mercury goes direct." Last time I checked the passage of time was inevitable. I mean avoiding whole days is pretty tough and generally requires expensive psychotropics.

What am I gonna do here, cut the squares for December 3 out of all the calendars I can get my hands on?

I can just see it. I 'm standing in Chapters with a pair of safety scissors and a stubborn/deranged look on my face explaining to the distraught bilingual McGill university student sales-person - "No, see I have to do this, I need to avoid getting close to December third because Mercury is going to go direct and I will be SCREWED!"

Or maybe I could just start tearing the pages out of agendas.. Starting with mine of course, but then moving onto the agendas of my friends and acquaintances.

Or I'll just personally remove December 3rd from my timeline. Wouldn't it be awesome if i could do that? - and insert .5 days as well. For example;

"I know you said that the site was supposed to be totally functional as of friday the 4th, but for me Thursday was the 2.5th so actually the deadline is now Saturday."

Speaking of deadlines what am I doing writing this post.

So I am sitting with Alison and we are talking about the forks in the road and the spilling of the cassoulet and how trying to do an overhaul of ones personal OS, really is like wrestling and octopus.

Says Alison:

"It' slimy and disgusting, there are too many arms and in the end you're covered in ink, with a tentacle wrapped around one leg...and you didn't win.

..and you know when you are overhauling your OS the first thing to do is trash all that useless old shareware that is a total proccesor suck.

November 2, 2005

From Rob Brezny horoscopes. He's been my favorite flake since high school...

""In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined," wrote psychiatrist Thomas Szasz. This is always true, but it's especially apropos for you Tauruses right now. You have arrived at a three-way fork in the road, and which way you go will have a big impact on your future capacity to exercise your free will. To make the best choice, you've got to have maximum power to define yourself. Don't let anyone, whether it's an enemy or a loved one or a so-called expert, take charge of determining the contours of your identity. "

I hate those three way forks, I always end up spilling shrimp cassoulet down the front of my shirt.

I had my first flight dream ever last night. Although I don't know if it was flight per se. I was in a parachute and my only path was down, but softly, and I was enjoying myself. Oddly there was someone parachuting beside me and I don't know who they were.

When your dreams resemble Point Break - what does that mean?

Nb: I have always been good at letting other people, esp. the loved ones take charge of the contours of my identity. Now that I am trying to take charge of them myself I often feel like my basic daily psychological task can be imagined as trying to hold a litre of water in my arms, or an octopus, messy.